When Trust is Broken in a Marriage

Such a violating feeling? Can trust ever be regained?

We had been married a couple of years. The internet was becoming more advanced in the 1990s. I was on my computer one day when I came across a way to check our credit. I was always curious about it. I thought it must be good because neither my husband nor I were ever late on payments.

I went onto the site and looked at our good credit scores, as I expected, but then I went in to see the detail of our loans and credit cards. There were five credit cards in my husband’s name that were alien to me. The total of all the cards was close to $50,000! What the hell was this?

My husband was watching television when I asked him about my discovery. He turned white and started to explain in a low voice what these were. His 19-year-old son was able to use these cards for whatever reason he wanted. One of the cards was used for cash advances to pay the minimum on the other cards. This was a financial nightmare! I was furious. My husband knew I would never go for this arrangement, so he did it behind my back. Also, the way he managed it, taking cash advances, was stupid.

I had just retired from my job. I would never have left if I knew about this mess! My father had passed away, and I was hoping to hold onto that money. Now, a portion of it was going to pay off these credit cards. The interest alone was sky high. My father worked hard for that money, and an ungrateful, spoiled brat would be bailed out of his financial mess with those funds.

My husband said he took out the credit cards because his son was depressed that his mother had abandoned him. This kid scammed his dad out of so much money in the past. One time he told my husband that if he didn’t come up with $500, somebody would beat the kid up. My husband gave him the money. I told him he was a fool.

If it had been one of my kids, I would have told him that we had good health insurance, so I would take a chance on whether he got beat up or not.

I asked my husband what his son bought with the credit card money. He said he wasn’t sure. I’m sure it was for drugs. He was a user. One of the kid’s friends was shot to death in a drug deal that went wrong.

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