A Stressful February

Most of the time each event has a lot of moving parts that must be pulled together for the best possible execution of the event. Don’t get me wrong I am happy to take lead but for a month like February it’s a bit overwhelming especially when at random moments before a few of the events I get fantastic ideas that fit perfectly with the theme, the day, the person etc. Thus it gets a bit hectic and my motivation to do it well causes me to be super assertive bordering on aggressive.

You have a difficult time accepting being “second best” in any endeavor — Not really

You might avoid any activities or tasks when you know you won’t be the best — Yes

You would rather give up on a task than not do it perfectly — No, I am not a quitter

You sacrifice your own well being to make something perfect — Usually

You believe that there is a “right” and “wrong” way to do most things — On some things but not always

You don’t accept in-betweens — Sometimes in this life we really have no choice, I’ve learned to accept this

You are highly critical of mistakes — I’m detailed-oriented and precise but I either put a disclaimer or redo if there is time.

You obsess about previous mistakes — this is pretty rare

You become defensive if anyone points out any errors — No

You are a “people pleaser.” — Most of the time I overthink and play out every scenario to come up with the most neutral outcome where everyone is happy to avoid tension or misunderstanding.

You are judgmental and critical of others — No

You have a difficult time emotionally connecting with other people.—No I’m pretty social when I need to be, that’s why I’m an ambivert

You know achieving perfection is impossible and you know that your efforts to do so are harmful to you — Yes, so I try for perfection but at the end of the day if I have achieved what I set out to accomplish and I gave it my all and that is good enough.

You take it hard, very hard, when you don’t achieve perfection — There is always room for improvement, so if I complete an assignment ahead of time I look it over multiple times especially if I have ideas after the fact that may add substance to it.

You continue working on a project long past when it was complete or others would have stopped — No I never miss a deadline.

You feel relieved when someone else fails — Oh my gosh! No, I like seeing others succeed as well.

You find it very difficult if other people see you make a mistake — Not really, it is a bit uncomfortable but if I don’t slip up I’ll never grow or learn.

You think asking for help is a sign of weakness — Not really, as Sesame Street taught us, “Asking questions is a good way of finding things out.”

You do only things that have a purpose — This is so not true, I love doing things for a reason but reading, writing, binge-watching Asian dramas, Outlander and Blacklist is important to me.

You have a need to be in control — I’m usually the leader by default and I’ve gotten the hang of it by now so it doesn’t bother me and I have no problem when someone else becomes the leader.

As you can see from a checklist of 20, I only fall under about 3 to 4 categories definitively.

However, having high standards is a preferred state of being for one’s overall health. Having high standards is a good thing and when you strive for excellence, it demonstrates to others that you possess a good work ethic and great strength of character.

Now that we have compiled some exposure items, for it to be effective it must be applied frequently and repeatedly.

Moreover when you begin to engage in altering your perfectionist mindset, you must remember that you are attempting to create realistic standards; “standards that can actually help you to do your best without costing you things that may be important to you, such as family life, physical and mental health, and leisure time(How To Overcome Perfectionism 2017).” Additionally, it is okay to ask for help! It isn’t a sign of weakness and it’s reasonable to have a supportive person who does not have problems with perfectionism to help you with setting new realistic standards.

On another note, individuals with perfectionism often cope with their fear of making mistakes by procrastinating. When you set “perfect” standards for yourself, it feels easier to procrastinate rather than spending hours trying to do it! Therefore you should creating realistic schedules. Break down larger tasks into manageable steps. Then, organise them based on priorities. Prioritize your tasks by deciding which are the most important to accomplish.

Moreover, during your difficult process of change, don’t forget to reward yourself for your diligence and persistence from time to time. Give yourself a treat once in a while like a nice meal, going out with friends, or taking some time to relax or pamper yourself.

Good Luck!

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