Confessions of deciding to find her again.

Since the last time I wrote, a lot has changed. i realised everything i complained about was based off what i wanted to change in my self.

My mind is the powerful weapon i have, and if my mind is not strong and it’s dependable on how someone else makes me feel then of course i would feel like a loner. Therefore, i have decided to love myself and work on feeling confident in my mind and not letting things and people unknowingly control my mind.

Thankfully, physically I'm all good as since the global pandemic, I've found ways to love my body, the journey is forever linear but i love my body and the way it looks. I am quite proud of the progress we’ve made together. I will include a bit i wrote in my final major project’s essay which was based around body image and social trends; “understanding that my body is not going to be the same as anyone else’s, and that no one else’s body is the same because if they were, there would be no such thing as individuality and it’s something I’m comfortable with as I understand that my body has undergone and will continue to go through various amounts of changes for the rest of my life, and I would like my body to be as natural as possible without the pressures of the outside world”.

Doesn't mean i lounge around eating MacDonald’s everyday (tbh the last time i ate from there was a few days ago and that was sneaking a bite of my bf’s burger, but that was probably after a month or so.) I now, since the beginning of the year, have began incorporating exercise and yoga in my life, which have helped me feel more better. i tend to lean more towards yoga as it’s based around breathing, being calm, slow and more present where as i only follow (Chloe Ting’s) work out videos when i’m feeling less exhausted and more confident in myself. I love food tho, so it’s been a bit odd being careful with what i consume, but honestly the experience has been interested, eye-opening and fun.

In order to fix my mental health, i have decided to read more and go out more, rather then watch tv and stay indoors. My aim is be comfortable with being alone, not looking on my phone to see if someone messages me. I aim to give myself value. i aim to be comfortable alone. If you have any tips or advice below on tip i can do this, please let me know.

Bye for now!

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